Mea Culpa

Mea culpa is defined as "an acknowledgment of one's fault or error."  I feel like this is appropriate because I have been failing at blogging lately...as well as running and weight loss.  This is me, acknowledging it and hopefully changing it.  I have missed blogging, and clearly I need it for accountability.  Not to mention I hate the feeling of not being comfortable in my own skin, and I've started to feel that coming back a little bit lately.

It pains me to report it, but I have to to be able to move forward - my weight is up, back into the 270's - the HIGH 270's.  I've had a rough few weeks and I've been eating my feelings and letting old habits slip back in and eating foods that I never normally touch.  I'm looking at you, ice cream.  Eating junk food does me no good at all...especially with a half marathon right around the corner.


Weight and accountability pics from last Thursday, 8/21/14.



I haven't been running nearly as much as I should, and gym visits have been non-existent.  That's not very inspirational, but it's the truth.  I've been down in the dumps and let my funk suck me into the couch.  I hate it and I'm finally ready to change it.

I've been eating better this week, and the past couple of nights, my hubby has walked 3+ miles with me.  He has expressed more interest in getting fit lately and walking with him has been fun.  We took it slow since he's just getting started, but I'm proud of him for being able to do 3 miles on hilly roads right off the bat.







These were both a little farther, but I forgot to hit start until we were already down the road.

I'm ready to change my attitude and get back at it, and I'm looking forward to the last true weekend of summer and then back to the gym next week.  Next week my schedule at work goes back from half hour lunches to hour lunches, so it will be easier for me to get gym time in again.  I'm ready!  I will finish my half marathon if I have to crawl to do it.

Setbacks aren't fun or glamorous but they are part of life.  I think the trick is to not let a setback or a few weeks off become a lifestyle again.  I'm committed to not letting that happen.

Happy Friday!


Slacking

I have been slacking for the past few days, there's really no other way to put it than that.  Since we did our seven miles last week I've been on a steady decline into slackerdom.  It stops today and I'm telling you that for accountability's sake!  I did get a couple of runs in last week during the week, but I felt very blah about it and my heart wasn't in it.  I think I just had a bad week.  I snapped this picture on Thursday because I just felt huge and like crap and I just needed a visual that I'm not 300 pounds.  I actually did well with my food last week, so I'm not sure what brought it all on.  


Then...the weekend came and things just went downhill, food wise.  My number one problem with weight loss is emotional eating, and this weekend was just full of that.  You'd think it would be easy to stop it when I recognize what's going on, but sometimes it just isn't.  Once I get started sometimes I find it easy to fall into a "not giving a shit" attitude about weight loss, and well...it's not good.  We had a funeral to go to on Saturday and I had some other personal stuff going on and I just let it get to me.  Saturday on the way home from the funeral we had our entire family plus the boys' girlfriends to feed, so we picked up pizzas on the way home.  Anything carbalicious like that is hard for me to stop once I get started and I know better...I ate way too much on Saturday, period.  The really silly thing is that I had plenty of healthy things in my fridge that I could have had...I just got into the frame of mind that I didn't care.   I know that's not doing me any favors though, consider me snapped out of it.

Our half marathon training this week says seven miles on the schedule, but we did seven miles last week when it was supposed to be a 5k.  We had planned seven this week, but when my cousin and I met to run Sunday morning, neither of us were really feeling it so we just did four.  We probably should have done the seven, but we both felt good that we got out and did SOMETHING when neither of us felt like it.

Sorry to be a downer, but I want to make sure to share both the good and the bad.  I am determined to make this a better week both food and exercise wise.  I did well with my food yesterday (low carb, I think my plan is to continue eating low carb but add in some complex carbs on longer run days) and have plenty of low carb options today.  My son has his very first dentist appointment right after work today, and I plan to get a run in after that.  

Other stuff that's been going on:

We have been DIY-project crazy lately and have been spending lots of time working on re-finishing an antique cabinet.  I'm pretty excited about this!


A local fair is going on and we have been spending lots of time there, this kid needs an animal to take care of I think.


I am officially too old to ride rides that spin around in circles, this pumpkin ride was nearly the death of me.


I added to my tattoo collection last week and got an arrow on my foot to symbolize "keep moving forward."  My friend that did the Air Force Half Marathon with me last year happened to be in town this weekend, and we've been talking about doing this ever since last year.  Actually doing it this weekend was kind of a spur of the moment decision, but I'm glad I did, I really like it.  Hopefully I didn't jinx myself for this year's half.  ;)


And, I entered my first ever photography competition and ended up getting second place (out of maybe 60 or so I think?).  I was pretty pumped.


Photography has been a hobby of mine for the past few years, and every time I get a great photo, I've thought about entering it somewhere but never have.  This isn't really weight loss related but I think this whole weight loss/blogging/self improvement thing helped give me the confidence in myself to finally do it.  I'm so glad I did!

Here's to a better week!

Seven Miles

This weekend there were seven miles on the half marathon training schedule.  Or so I thought.  After we did the seven miles and I went to cross it off my calendar, I realized this week actually had a 5k on the calendar, and next week was supposed to be seven miles.  Whoops.  I guess we will just do seven miles again next week because at this point I feel like we could do a 5k in our sleep (so many LOLs at typing that out...who am I?).  

For the past two weeks, I have met up with my cousin/friend who is doing the Air Force Half with me to do our long runs.  I'm really not someone who usually enjoys running with other people - too much anxiety about my pace, am I slowing them down, etc, but I have loved our runs the past couple of weeks!  We seem to both be comfortable keeping the same pace (about 14 minute miles overall).  She is probably technically faster than me but it's her first half so we are sticking together!  Our game plan so far has been to alternate laps of walking and running, that seems to be working pretty well.  She has 5 kids and I have 3 kids, so it's rare that we get to hang out together and talk by ourselves, so I look forward to it!  I can't believe how much faster the miles go by with having someone to talk to.


I felt really good after the seven miles, and was surprised at how NOT sore my legs were the next day.  Strangely, my abs were way more sore than my legs.  I tried to be smart about preparing this week, I drank a lot of water the day before and the day of, and I also went out of my way to eat more carbs the day of and the day before. 

I'm still focusing on low carb/no sugar, but last week I felt like eating low carb affected the 6 mile long run - I didn't have as much energy as I should have, and my stomach got really upset after 3 miles.  I'm still convinced a low-carb way of life is the best option for me, but while half marathon training I feel like I have to allow myself some healthy carbs - the trick is to keep it healthy and not eat just because "I ran today" - a trap I have fallen into before.  With that being said, I must admit that I had a (delicious) frozen margarita when we went out for mexican food Saturday night with Sunday's long run in mind...which totally violates my no-sugar rule.  Bah.  I could have done without that, but I got right back on no-sugar.  On Sunday I ate eggs and whole wheat toast for breakfast, and had a baked potato with my chicken and green beans for lunch.  Maybe it's all in my head, but I swear I felt much better during our run on Sunday than I did the week before when I had no carbs and didn't eat very well prior to the run.  

We had a good, full weekend otherwise.  Friday night we were supposed to have our end-of-season party for baseball at a local pool.  Imagine our surprise when we got there and the place was locked up tight!  There was a mix-up with the reservation and the pool ended up being closed.  So we had about 100 disappointed kids.  Pizza was already ordered so the party just got moved to a shelter and we had some play time at the park, and made an early night of it.


We are working on several remodeling projects this fall, the first of which was tiling our bathroom shower this weekend...this was the main focus of our Saturday.  I did have to run out for a few things and my three year old was being a little too helpful, so he went to grandmas for a couple hours while I ran errands...including a stop into Target.

I will probably get struck by lightning for saying this, but I haven't really found many workout clothes I'm in love with at Target.  I tried on several things, and it was all just...meh.  The outfit below I could have obviously used a bigger size (this top was a L, shorts XL), but aside from that, the fabric really just wasn't that comfortable or breathable.  On the other hand, I didn't spend a ton of time looking, I just grabbed some stuff to try on, so maybe I just wasn't looking at the right things?

Sorry Target, but your shorts just weren't high enough to conceal my muffin top, which is my number one priority for running shorts :)

I did end up falling in love with maxi skirts though...I didn't think they would work on me (or horizontal stripes!), but I really liked this and it came home with me.

The tile project turned out well, and I even helped quite a bit!  I'm hooked and now all I can think about is our next project.

It was approximately 1,000 degrees in this small, confined, space.


Hope you had a great weekend!  What's your favorite thing to eat before a long run?

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